Basic Negotiating Tips Anyone Can Use

During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally.  If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.  Brian Koslow

From deal making to buying Gucci purses in the streets of New York, negotiating is a part of life.  And yet, many of us are so uncomfortable with it that we cave in and agree to anything!
Some cultures are trained to be ruthless negotiators, and certain areas of America contain more skilled negotiators than others.

I have never been very comfortable with negotiating.  Shopping trips to Mexico would have me paying more than I should just because I don’t enjoy the game of talking someone down on a price.  After all, I don’t mind paying a little more for a box of Chiclets if it means a poor street kid will eat better that night.
But, when it comes to survival in business, I’ve had to learn to negotiate.  I’ve read books such as Getting to Yes and I’ve taken negotiating workshops through Karrass, Inc.  And though I’m not the most aggressive negotiator, I have learned to keep up with the best of them. Just as there are guidelines to cooking a turkey, there are guidelines to negotiating.  These basic guidelines will help prevent you from making a big mistake during your next business deal:
NEGOTIATING MUSTS:

• Research Before the Negotiation:  Do your homework.  In a business deal, you want to find out as much as you can about the company and the people you are dealing with.  This will aid in your negotiation.

• Know your Numbers Before the Negotiation:  Go into a negotiation knowing what you want.  If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never get it!   Write down on a piece of paper three things:

1. Your desire outcome;
2. Your drop dead lowest outcome that you will agree to if you have to; and
3. Your Deal Breaker, which is the outcome that will cause you to walk away from the deal.

• Ask for What you Want:  Often, a client will pay or give more than you thought.  Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

• Talk less, Listen More:  Understand where the other party is coming from.  Ask a lot of questions so that you know what their concerns are and their needs are.  Sometimes it’s not what you think.

• Concessions should be Tit for Tat:  Make sure that if the other party asks you to make a concession (give something extra or take less money), that you are given something extra in return.  In business deals, you can get very creative with this.  Ask for free advertising or extra products or plane tickets, etc.  Avoid granting concessions without anything given to you in return.

•  Change your Offer if Need Be:  Often we are wary of changing our offer in the middle of the game. But sometimes it’s necessary, especially when the deal has changed and new information is gained during discussions.  Don’t be afraid to withdraw something you offered earlier, if it makes sense to do so now.

• Brainstorm to make the deal fair to all:  The best deals are ones that have never been done before, so says Seth Godin.  Get creative;  if you reach a point in negotiations where you can’t agree, think up a new way to get you what you want and to get them what they want.

• Follow up in Writing:  Always follow up a discussion with the points agreed to in writing.  Email this to the client and make sure that you both have clarity on what was discussed.

NEGOTIATING NO-NO’s:

• Never Negotiate Against Yourself:  If you gave an offer or a price and the other person didn’t accept it, DO NOT offer them a lower number.  This is called negotiating against yourself.  Instead, ask them to make you a counter-offer.

• Don’t Fall for the “Hurry up and Sign!”  If your new business partner is giving you the rush-rush to sign a contract before you are ready or have time to think about what you are agreeing to, Don’t Do it!  Ask them to slow down and to allow you the time you need.

• Don’t Negotiate with Someone Who Doesn’t Make the Decisions:  If the person you’re dealing with says “I have to go ask my boss now if he agrees” insist that you deal directly with the person making the negotiating decisions.  Don’t fall for this game.  It’s a negotiating tactic.

• Don’t Agree to Something That Feels Wrong:  Look out for Red Flags.  If the deal feels bad, worries you or turns your stomach, don’t agree to it.  Period.

• Don’t Regret your Decision Later:  Learn to trust your decision making.  Once you make a decision on a negotiation, look forward, move ahead, and never look back with regret.  Learn from mistakes, but don’t feel regret.

• Don’t fall for the “But it’s great Promotion for you” Line:  When negotiating a business deal, the price you are paid should have absolutely nothing to do with how well the product will sell or how many famous people are involved or anything else like that.  When a client uses the “But it will be good promotion for you” line , ignore it.  Don’t give it any merit or consideration.   It’s irrelevant 99% of time.

• Don’t be afraid to walk away if it goes badly:  A bad deal is a bad deal.  Don’t agree to one.

I hope these tips are helpful.  If you have any to add in the comments, please do.   You may want to check out an article on this topic that I really liked titled Negotiation Tips for the Beginner

by Man Vs. Debt. Basic Negotiating Tips Anyone Can Use

How to Let Go of Perfectionism: 7 Powerful Tips

"Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks."

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"Some of us (perfectionists, especially) fuss so much over making the 'right' choice, but in life, all that's really needed is to make any' good' choice, believe in it, go through with it, and accept the consequences."

Unknown

"People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it."

Edith Schaeffer

One of the most common problems people seem to have - based on the email and other feedback I get - is perfectionism.

And I'm no stranger to it either. Once in a while I feel old thought patterns pop up. Perfectionism rears its unsettling and distracting head.

At such times I redirect my focus. I use a couple of techniques and strategies and remind myself of a few things to be able to avoid procrastination, stop the polishing and get things all the way to done. In this email I'd like to explore what has worked for me in such situations plus a few habits that greatly decreases the perfectionism over time.

1. Go for good enough.

Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don't use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

So find a balance for yourself where you do good work and don't slack off but at the same time don't get lost in trying to improve and polish something too much. How to find that balance? I have found it through experience.

2. Have a deadline.

A deadline can be useful. For example, a bit more than a a year ago, I set a deadline for when my second book should be finished. I had realized that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline.

Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.

3. Realize that you hurt yourself and the people around you by buying into myths of perfection.

By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.

But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world.

I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.

Whenever I get lost in a perfectionistic headspace I remind myself that it will cause me and my world harm. And so it become easier to switch my focus and thought patterns because I want to avoid making stupid choices and avoid causing myself and other people unnecessary pain.

4. Accept that you are human and so is everyone else.

Set human standards for everyone and accept that life is like that.

Everything and everyone has flaws and things don't always go as planned. You can still improve things but they will never be perfect. And realize that you won't be rejected if things or you aren't perfect. At least not by reasonably well-balanced human beings, like most people actually are in reality.

5. Compare yourself to yourself.

Comparing yourself to other people on a regular basis can easily lead to feeling inferior. There will always be a lot of people ahead of you in any area of life. So compare yourself to yourself. See your improvement, see how far you have come. Appreciate yourself and focus on what you have done and are doing rather than what everyone else is doing.

6. Do what you think is the right thing.

So you realize that perfectionism will harm you and you try to avoid it. But people and media and the society around you have an influence over how you think and feel.

One of the best ways I have found to practically lessen that influence is by doing the right thing as much as possible. When you do that other people's expectations have less and less power of over you and you get in control instead.

Because by doing the right thing your esteem of yourself goes up and other people's opinions about you and life will matter less to you. Instead of their influence being like a tsunami flooding over you it flows right over you. Or bounces off you. Because now you have become stronger, more certain in who you are and you are not so easily swayed by external forces.

7. Live in an environment of human standards.

Emotions are contagious. So is perfectionism. Even though you can lessen the impact that your environment has you can also work at the other end of things and shape your environment to lessen the influence of perfectionism.

Read magazines with realistic expectations. Reduce the perfectionism in your world by reducing or cutting out the media sources that every week try to reinforce it in you.

Spend less time with nervously perfectionistic people and more time with people who are trying to improve themselves and/or are living a good life in a positive, healthy and relaxed way.

I hope this email will help you to overcome or decrease the perfectionism in your life,

Henrik

 

 

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Louis Tremblay is one of the many men hitting the auction block in support of our community hospital.

Louis Tremblay Artist; President of the Smiths Falls & District Arts & Culture and Manager of LH studios was rounded up for the  "Smiths Falls Man Auntion" The Proceeds will go to the Smiths Falls Hospital Foundation.

Men are being rounded up to take part in this first-time event, being planned by a small committee of dedicated local business owners. The group of small businesses working hard to put this fun evening on for you and to help an amazing Foundation and the team include Chuckles Jack, The Rideau Winery, Dan Peter's Auction and Appraisal and Vickie's Specialty Shop and Chuckles Jack

Louis Tremblay is one of the many men hitting the auction block in support of our community hospital on May 26th. We've got carpenters, lawyers, mechanics, painters, chefs, and more to auction off - one of them could be yours - "like" Smiths Falls Man Auction on facebook and then check out the website for details as they're added 


So far, several prominent figures from the community have come forward, willing to be sold off for a good cause. Those wishing to take a peek at some of the men who will be offering up their services (for example carpentry work or other trades which the men are involved in), can visit Facebook and look up Man Auction.  

The Smiths Falls Community Hospital Foundation is the fundraising arm of the Smiths Falls site of the Perth and Smiths Falls District Hospital.


A registered charity, the Foundation was established in 1981 to help meet the growing financial needs of the hospital. The Foundation works with generous community donors in order to provide the hospital with necessary funds for medical equipment, and to modernize inpatient and outpatient facilities in Smiths Falls which are not provided by the Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care.

The Smiths Falls Community Hospital Foundation is managed by a Board of Volunteers from Smiths Falls and the surrounding Townships. Office staff takes care of the fundraising and administrative details to ensure that donor needs and wishes are met. Volunteers are always welcome at the Foundation.

I invite you to follow he following link to see "YOUR DOLLARS AT WORK" 

Set for May 26, taking place at Chuckles Jack (33 Centre Street, Smiths Falls), dinner will commence at 5:30 p.m. and the men will be auctioned off at 7 p.m. Tickets are $30.

But I know what you're asking yourself  "what will you do for me if I purchase you at the man auction?"

The lucky individual that will win the biding war will win a photo shoot and will get up to 2 hours of shooting time on location with with Louis Tremblay (300$ value). The concept is to be discussed with the winner. Also included in the prize package is Louis Tremblay's "dream team" 

• Hairstylist to be announced in a few weeks
• make-up artist with Lyz Plant (value: 200$)

Lyz is a freelance makeup artist based in Merrickville. She has been with the Toronto Fashion Week team with L'Oreal for ten seasons, working with many of Canada's top designers. Including: Andy The-Anh, Evan Biddell, Bustle Izzy Camilleri, Joeffer Caoc, Wayne Clark, Common Cloth, Comrags, Diesel, David Dixon, Zoran Dobric, Joe Fresh, Ed Hardy, Denis Gagnon, Ginch Gonch, Greta Constantine, GSUS, Mango, Lucian Matis, Nada, Alfred Sung, Pink Tartan and Carlie Wong.  

Therefore we will see you Saturday May 26 2012 at Chuckles Jack, Smiths Falls  Buffet Style Dinner Starts at 5:30 PM Live Man Auction begins at 7 PM Sharp, and Proceeds to Smiths Falls Hospital Foundation and to see the full list on mean please follow the following link Man Auction

 Sponsored By The Following Local Retailers:

Terms of the Auction: Cash, Debit, Mastercard, American Express. (2% fee applies when paying by Visa, American Express & Mastercard only) Must be 19 to Attend this event .Owners / Auctioneers are not responsible for lost or stolen items. Owners and Auctioneers are not responsible for accidents occurring on the premises.